ViperInBlack
Enthusiast
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- Oct 5, 2004
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The SRT-10, America’s Uber car, now has economic ties to the German manufacturer, Daimler-Benz (a company, as you know, that named itself after the daughter of one of its founders…admittedly, I do not know why anyone would name their daughter “Benz,” though I do know that deep sea divers are vulnerable to that condition).
In either case, the Viper SRT-10 often sees itself as a competitor to a German company’s vehicle called Porsche (****: “pour shuh”). Few understand the roots and derivation of this competition except for VCA Member, NOMERCY.
Many, however, are aware that James Dean died in a Porsche Speedster, but not before he had developed a great line of breakfast sausages and a recorded a song about a large Porta-*****. .
But the roots hearken back to WWII after the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor. This was the first attack by an enemy upon American soil (excluding the times when Canadians attend OzzFest).
This was a personal and emotional event for me since my Uncle Al was there at the time of the Pearl Harbor attack. I was 17 years of age.
Unk was stationed in the heart of it, right there at Key West. Indeed, he was injured by a piece of shrapnel. (Well, to be faithful to the facts, Unk lacerated his forehead when arising from his bunk under which he kept his private stash of special magazines).
Uncle Al indicates that the attack was then followed by not only military confusion and desperation but by the evacuation of civilians. Most had silver hair, fled to the Eden Rock and Fountain Bleu Hotels on Collins Avenue. He describes this as the most massive movement of Cadillac Fleetwoods that he had ever seen.
It was following Pearl Harbor, that Germany, under the leadership of Mussolini, inventor of the intercooler for the Fiat, became dominant in the racing world, not only with their Porsche but also with the even more competitive VW Beetle which routinely turned in E.T.’s in the low 9 minute range.
Many years have passed since those early racing days. The Porsche has evolved, but it largely has the same design gaols. I was never certain what these goals are, but I do believe that it has been a more consistent winner than similar race-inspired vehicles from, for example, Studebaker, Hudson and Checker.
The racing competition between the Dodge Viper SRT-10 and Porsche will continue until the much anticipated, and impending release this year of, the Dodge Viper SRT-11. Reports say that the idle of the Viper SRT-11 is something to behold and equally difficult to maintain.
Perhaps there are some things that a Porsche can already do that its Viper SRT-10 competitor cannot. For example, the Porsche has room behind the seats to transport shrubs from Pike’s Nursery or gifts to a Bar Mitzvah. The SRT-10 has room in the truck for a Happy Meal.
But since most, even the most modest, Porsche drivers feel that they have remarkable automotive skills, here are eleven challenges you can throw their way with your very own Viper SRT-10 (or 11):
1. Choose a breezy early, frosty morning, with ambient temperatures below 8 degrees F (excluding windchill factor. . Have your Porsche (a cabriolet with top down) competitor ride in his car wearing only boxer shorts, no shirt and having bare feet. You do the same in your Viper SRT-10. The first man to feel the least bit chilly is the loser. (You may use your air conditioner if needed to avoid heat stroke.)
2. Challenge him to get out of your Viper SRT-10 but without using his hands for leverage and without uttering grunting sounds or moans of spinal pain.
3. Encourage a race on city streets and country roads, beginning at a gas station with topped off fuel tanks in both cars. The winner is the one who gets back to the gas station first with an empty tank.
4. Have him go to a Porsche dealer, and you to a Dodge dealer, both wearing coveralls and both asking the salesman “hey, whatcha take for that thang in real cash money?” Fairly decide who was treated with more acceptance.
5. Engage in a foot race to his car. The signal to start the race begins with a neutral third person firing up his Porsche. Accuse him of red-lighting when he sprints at the sound of a neighbor’s leaf blower.
6. Demonstrate acquired driving skills: Exchange cars. Race only 20 feet. Tell him that you can get his car into second gear faster than he can get yours into second. Raise the stakes, same race, and propose a first-to-third shift.
7. Wager that they, indeed, did make a Porsche with an interior called “pumpkin,” the same name as his toy poodle.
8. Find a 5’6” Porsche owner, have him drive your Viper SRT-10 with a seat lowering kit, pedal adjustors in full forward mode, and the seats locked in tilt back position. Have him parallel park.
9. Offer to give him your Viper SRT-10 if he can tell you the words to a song played on your Viper CD player with the windows down. Install B&B complete exhaust from headers to cat removal. Play Metallica’s “The Unforgiven”.
10. See if he can keep his tongue on your Viper SRT-10 door sill for as long as you can keep yours on the Porsche door sill.
11. Wager titles in a competition as to who can find the spare tire for the other’s car in the shortest period of time.
12. Agree to pay each other per individual who spontaneously gather at each car. After that final competition, be a sport, buy him lunch and give him gas money.
God bless our veterans, and may God protect our troops.
Alice (HEMOTOX)
In either case, the Viper SRT-10 often sees itself as a competitor to a German company’s vehicle called Porsche (****: “pour shuh”). Few understand the roots and derivation of this competition except for VCA Member, NOMERCY.
Many, however, are aware that James Dean died in a Porsche Speedster, but not before he had developed a great line of breakfast sausages and a recorded a song about a large Porta-*****. .
But the roots hearken back to WWII after the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor. This was the first attack by an enemy upon American soil (excluding the times when Canadians attend OzzFest).
This was a personal and emotional event for me since my Uncle Al was there at the time of the Pearl Harbor attack. I was 17 years of age.
Unk was stationed in the heart of it, right there at Key West. Indeed, he was injured by a piece of shrapnel. (Well, to be faithful to the facts, Unk lacerated his forehead when arising from his bunk under which he kept his private stash of special magazines).
Uncle Al indicates that the attack was then followed by not only military confusion and desperation but by the evacuation of civilians. Most had silver hair, fled to the Eden Rock and Fountain Bleu Hotels on Collins Avenue. He describes this as the most massive movement of Cadillac Fleetwoods that he had ever seen.
It was following Pearl Harbor, that Germany, under the leadership of Mussolini, inventor of the intercooler for the Fiat, became dominant in the racing world, not only with their Porsche but also with the even more competitive VW Beetle which routinely turned in E.T.’s in the low 9 minute range.
Many years have passed since those early racing days. The Porsche has evolved, but it largely has the same design gaols. I was never certain what these goals are, but I do believe that it has been a more consistent winner than similar race-inspired vehicles from, for example, Studebaker, Hudson and Checker.
The racing competition between the Dodge Viper SRT-10 and Porsche will continue until the much anticipated, and impending release this year of, the Dodge Viper SRT-11. Reports say that the idle of the Viper SRT-11 is something to behold and equally difficult to maintain.
Perhaps there are some things that a Porsche can already do that its Viper SRT-10 competitor cannot. For example, the Porsche has room behind the seats to transport shrubs from Pike’s Nursery or gifts to a Bar Mitzvah. The SRT-10 has room in the truck for a Happy Meal.
But since most, even the most modest, Porsche drivers feel that they have remarkable automotive skills, here are eleven challenges you can throw their way with your very own Viper SRT-10 (or 11):
1. Choose a breezy early, frosty morning, with ambient temperatures below 8 degrees F (excluding windchill factor. . Have your Porsche (a cabriolet with top down) competitor ride in his car wearing only boxer shorts, no shirt and having bare feet. You do the same in your Viper SRT-10. The first man to feel the least bit chilly is the loser. (You may use your air conditioner if needed to avoid heat stroke.)
2. Challenge him to get out of your Viper SRT-10 but without using his hands for leverage and without uttering grunting sounds or moans of spinal pain.
3. Encourage a race on city streets and country roads, beginning at a gas station with topped off fuel tanks in both cars. The winner is the one who gets back to the gas station first with an empty tank.
4. Have him go to a Porsche dealer, and you to a Dodge dealer, both wearing coveralls and both asking the salesman “hey, whatcha take for that thang in real cash money?” Fairly decide who was treated with more acceptance.
5. Engage in a foot race to his car. The signal to start the race begins with a neutral third person firing up his Porsche. Accuse him of red-lighting when he sprints at the sound of a neighbor’s leaf blower.
6. Demonstrate acquired driving skills: Exchange cars. Race only 20 feet. Tell him that you can get his car into second gear faster than he can get yours into second. Raise the stakes, same race, and propose a first-to-third shift.
7. Wager that they, indeed, did make a Porsche with an interior called “pumpkin,” the same name as his toy poodle.
8. Find a 5’6” Porsche owner, have him drive your Viper SRT-10 with a seat lowering kit, pedal adjustors in full forward mode, and the seats locked in tilt back position. Have him parallel park.
9. Offer to give him your Viper SRT-10 if he can tell you the words to a song played on your Viper CD player with the windows down. Install B&B complete exhaust from headers to cat removal. Play Metallica’s “The Unforgiven”.
10. See if he can keep his tongue on your Viper SRT-10 door sill for as long as you can keep yours on the Porsche door sill.
11. Wager titles in a competition as to who can find the spare tire for the other’s car in the shortest period of time.
12. Agree to pay each other per individual who spontaneously gather at each car. After that final competition, be a sport, buy him lunch and give him gas money.
God bless our veterans, and may God protect our troops.
Alice (HEMOTOX)
