A Viper in our Corvette World

ViperInBlack

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I watched the development of the C6 Corvette on DirecTV.

I noted the designer driving down the road, talking to the camera, shifting through the gears as one would with a Toyota Corolla six speed.

The cabin was largely silent.

The car looked like a last gen. Camaro with headlights suspiciously borrowed from another branded vehicle.

Corvette people are...er...different. I was one once. It is not that they are better, nor worse...but they do like automatic transmissions and cup holders...and hats.

The American public is more likely to seek out the new Corvette or new Mustang than it would a Viper. Both are docile and have a rather middle class acceptance of rebellion...like eating a Big Mac without the bun.

You can nap when you drive a Corvette, listening to new age music, talk on your cell phone, get out of your car and smile at the two people in the parking lot who like your car.

By contrast, when you arrive in a Viper, you have been abused. Your legs are tired, your back hurts, you have no idea where the front end was going, but it made a lot of noise getting there. Your hands ache from the death grip on the wheel with indentations in your palms from your Rosary beads.

People have glared, stared, waved, smiled and cursed at you (I like the latter group). You have cranked up the radio but the cabin noise is already at the pain threshold, and you cannot tell if this is Zakk Wylde or Billy Joel.

You cannot change radio stations because the ominous presence of eleventy seven guages keeps you continually checking numbers.

You feel like you need to be basted before you dry out from the heat.

You exit the car attempting to muster "cool", but in reality, all you feel is pain and concern. You pretend that the pops and clicks are the engine cooling, but in reality you know it is your knees and pelvic joints.

People stare in the parking lot. They have no idea what it is. They saw one on a magazine once..."made by Ford isn't it?" They have a friend, who's friend's sister-in-law's husband had someone with one at work..." So, they feel they can bond with you.

You worry that some have keys and bad intentions.

You walk away from the car, feeling that you have accomplished a mission. You also feel that something between a Bronze Star and Olympic Silver should be awarded.

Does not matter...you are again out of gas.
 

SNAKEPILOT

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You and John Phillips (Car & Driver Nov. 2002 road test) must have gone to the same writing school...or something.
I sure got a kick out of it. Keep it up! :D
 

Joseph Houss

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Brings a tear to my eye!

Chris... you better watch out.... there's another pro writer "on staff"!
 
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ViperInBlack

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My neighbor collects Corvettes (has a NCRS Top Flight 67 coupe and 66 Roadster).

He once got vapor lock ~.9 miles from home and had the car towed to South Atlanta and "repaired." Total cost was $1100.

When the SRT-10 was delivered on Sunday, he became agitated. He brought out both Corvettes and circled the area (one at a time, fortunately).

I believe he was revving the engine...or humming loudly.

I saw him later, sitting in his five car garage (he also has one of those Porsche things...but calls it a "pour shh") looking for injectible drugs. His wife was consoling him.

He was saying to her "but she has wider tires." And his wife was responding "I know honey...I know...but you're a big boy too."

Did not seem to help him much.

Alice
 

DT04R

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Very Nice!!

Thanks for the chuckle this morning - this is classic:

"I believe he was revving the engine...or humming loudly."

I'm about to be an ex-Vetter myself - having owned four, I'm pretty much done. Even the much hyped, up-n-coming Z06/C6, regardless of the performance figures (which will likely be impressive) doesn't do much for me.

I think I've been overcome by the exotic lure of exclusivity - which is worth a _bunch_ in my book. The new Z will be derived from a 30K-a-year platform, and that no longer interests me.

As a weekend only, top down, exotic, track worthy, driver punishing supercar...I think the Viper will suite me just fine :laugh:
 
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ViperInBlack

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Danny:

On a more serious note, I had conceived of the Viper as a rather rough daily driver. Ain't so.

A Z06 is your ideal daily driver. You can look like everyone else in traffic...make vroom..vroom noises and comfortably talk about specials at Costco on your cell phone.

By contrast, your forthcoming Viper will make your teeth bleed.

And that's a good thing.

Alice
 

Snakester

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I've driven mine every day for 3 years now, and it's never really been such an ordeal. Just wild fun. :laugh:

But I suppose that's all I'm left with as an enthusiast after a drive in the Viper. For me, the fun greatly outweighs any slight inconvenience or discomfort.
It's like hiking to the top of a tall mountain. You forget the climbing effort when you are looking out enjoying the view.
The Viper is definitely not a car for everyone.
That's for sure!

Yours was an amusing perspective though.
 

YouWish

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Great write-up. I feel bad for you though with you mentioning all those aches and pains from you driving the Viper you must be 50 something.
 
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ViperInBlack

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I shall be 83 my next birthday and have limited use of bodily functions.

Thanks for understanding.

Best regards,

Alice

P.S. The point of my treatise on the Viper was not, of course, a complaint, but that it is an entirely different driving experience. By the way, that's a good thing.
 

knuk

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Your article should at least be sent in to Viper Magazine :2tu:
 
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ViperInBlack

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Well, I am not really 83; the Viper beats me up and abuses me. So I feel that way.

You do need a Viper however.

Regards,

Alice
 

Y2K5SRT

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Chris... you better watch out.... there's another pro writer "on staff"!

Rest assured that I have been reading all with wonder and amazement. Proper syntax and good spelling (we will overlook "guages" as a typo this time ;) ). Ah yes, and a wicked sense of humor that shames even a few of the pros on these very boards. I had best stick to my trusty travelogues and picture posts. Once she masters the photos I shall simply throw in the towel and buy a GT. I think I can definitely hang with the best of the Ford writers... :2tu:

Excellent comparison and definitely a fun read. Yet another priceless addition to the Viper Nation (Alice, that is).

C
 

Vic

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Funny stuff! Nice writing style, too.

I like Zakk Wylde on Ozzy's "Crazy Babys".
 

Y2K5SRT

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Chris:

My photos are ready.

Alice

Drop me a PM and I would be delighted to help you get them posted if you wish. Your writing is wonderful, speaking as a lesser writer myself (alas, the Pulitzer on my mantel bears only my surname).

Chris
 

Bill Pemberton Woodhouse

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Gee, Christopher, did you/we make an error in gender judgement? Alice, you listed as a she, and with the wit and wisdom spewing forth , one could even assume this prolific panderer of prose is using a nom-de-plume? Is this Alice a lady of the silver pen, or has Alice Cooper moved to Georgia and taken up a new avocation of Forum mischief?

Pondering,musing, wondering, and being doubly redudant, in Kneebrasky,

Willie Da P
 

kenvw

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He was saying to her "but she has wider tires." And his wife was responding "I know honey...I know...but you're a big boy too."


Bill, I think he is a she - "but she has wider tires" is the husband commenting on the owner of the Viper.
 
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