benson8708
Viper Owner
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2009
- Posts
- 59
- Reaction score
- 0
Well this is my first post here after reading these forums for the past year. I can say that at times the shear barbarianism portrayed by many of the members here has kept me at bay. Well I guess that can be expected by gentlemen who own a car as loud and obnoxious as a dodge Viper. Which is certainly why I bought one. It is the only car that paralleled my personality.
Well on to the story, just a quick one but nice. I decided to take my RT/10 for a ride down to Long Beach to visit a friend. Stopped in a subway to grab lunch which required me to parallel park directly in front of the store. I was a little leery about this but considering the numerous nubile women who frequent this particular establishment and the fact that there would only be a car in front of me due to a fire hydrant I would take my chances. I made sure that my parking job was efficient and only utilized the appropriate number of turns to avoid embarrassment. A couple of well times revs of the throaty V-10 masked any minor flaws during this event. Well, head up high and proudly leaving my 1995 Viper the correct distance from the curb, I proceeded to get in line for my sub. I could see the front of my car through the windows and was not concerned about the rear-end near the hydrant. Then I finished my sandwich and headed outside after about 15 min. I approached my car from the front and notice that a F-ING Honda with a big stupid wing and homosexual type paint job has squeezed up and parked extremely close to my viper. As I approach the perps dainty vehicle I see that his bumper is actually touching mine...***. I am standing there allowing the rage to build so that I will have sufficient adrenaline and strength to pound some young punk to death. Then out of nowhere a ***** looking short shorts wearing bicycle cop is standing over my shoulder. I said can you believe this S#&^% he said go see if the person is in Subway. His presence will defiantly hinder my original plans with this punk..dammit. I re-enter the subway and ask whose Honda was parked out front. Before I heard an answer bellow from the line I already had profiled out the owner. I don't believe a description is necessary since he was so cliché'. I must admit that being able to say this next sentence in a crowded environment was well worth it. "EXCUSE ME SIR BUT YOU CAR IS TOUCHING MY VIPER!" As the entire line spun around to look outside I held back any gluttonous grins. "I will move it as soon as I get my sandwich." He said calmly. I stepped back outside and relayed that info to that waiting policeman. The cop forcefully extended his kickstand in a manner that could cause the hardest criminal to run in fear. He entered the store and as manly as he could said, "MOVE YOU CAR RIGHT NOW OR I WILL HAVE IT TOWED AND YOU WILL BE TICKETED." Now you think that my last comment made me feel good, the cops next one was the icing on the cake. "Are you an idiot why would you bump you car into a 90,000 dollar car and leave it there!" Now I know and you know that is it more like 30,000 but I was not about to correct him in front of all these people who now assumed that I was in a different tax bracket. The dumb punk moved his **** whacker mobile and I checked for damage but there was nothing. The cop and I verbally bashed the young man and talked about my car for the next few minutes and then he saddled up and rode off with as much glory as possible on a shwinn.
Well on to the story, just a quick one but nice. I decided to take my RT/10 for a ride down to Long Beach to visit a friend. Stopped in a subway to grab lunch which required me to parallel park directly in front of the store. I was a little leery about this but considering the numerous nubile women who frequent this particular establishment and the fact that there would only be a car in front of me due to a fire hydrant I would take my chances. I made sure that my parking job was efficient and only utilized the appropriate number of turns to avoid embarrassment. A couple of well times revs of the throaty V-10 masked any minor flaws during this event. Well, head up high and proudly leaving my 1995 Viper the correct distance from the curb, I proceeded to get in line for my sub. I could see the front of my car through the windows and was not concerned about the rear-end near the hydrant. Then I finished my sandwich and headed outside after about 15 min. I approached my car from the front and notice that a F-ING Honda with a big stupid wing and homosexual type paint job has squeezed up and parked extremely close to my viper. As I approach the perps dainty vehicle I see that his bumper is actually touching mine...***. I am standing there allowing the rage to build so that I will have sufficient adrenaline and strength to pound some young punk to death. Then out of nowhere a ***** looking short shorts wearing bicycle cop is standing over my shoulder. I said can you believe this S#&^% he said go see if the person is in Subway. His presence will defiantly hinder my original plans with this punk..dammit. I re-enter the subway and ask whose Honda was parked out front. Before I heard an answer bellow from the line I already had profiled out the owner. I don't believe a description is necessary since he was so cliché'. I must admit that being able to say this next sentence in a crowded environment was well worth it. "EXCUSE ME SIR BUT YOU CAR IS TOUCHING MY VIPER!" As the entire line spun around to look outside I held back any gluttonous grins. "I will move it as soon as I get my sandwich." He said calmly. I stepped back outside and relayed that info to that waiting policeman. The cop forcefully extended his kickstand in a manner that could cause the hardest criminal to run in fear. He entered the store and as manly as he could said, "MOVE YOU CAR RIGHT NOW OR I WILL HAVE IT TOWED AND YOU WILL BE TICKETED." Now you think that my last comment made me feel good, the cops next one was the icing on the cake. "Are you an idiot why would you bump you car into a 90,000 dollar car and leave it there!" Now I know and you know that is it more like 30,000 but I was not about to correct him in front of all these people who now assumed that I was in a different tax bracket. The dumb punk moved his **** whacker mobile and I checked for damage but there was nothing. The cop and I verbally bashed the young man and talked about my car for the next few minutes and then he saddled up and rode off with as much glory as possible on a shwinn.
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Welcome to viper ownership...it's a blast!
Long distance relationships never works guys 
