Texas Smack-Talkers Convention this Sat...

[Prashant]

Thanks for the props, Texas SMACK down meeting with the likes of all stars NORM K (Victor), Dave John Candy Golder, Walt the Salty Taco, Jason Bodain Fontenot, Mark 9SEC smack daddy, Kyle screw the world Kent, Albert the closet import south Texas Death Ride and JonPaul I want a viper so bad Vetter along with VW Passat Patel and more...You will be amazed by the alcohol indused verbel warfare. One night only...don't miss it.

 

[BigsViper]

Howcum this is the first I've heard? Wife and Kids gone this weekend; email me some more details.

 

[Wing King]

What? Top "The Night Before VOI in Branson"? Not gonna happen!

Anyway, with those two pace truck co-drivers, you guys will be there all day waiting for Herbert and Brobst to decide WHO is going to be the first to drive it!

On a more serious note, many of us North Texas guys would have loved to join you, but we have big doings of our own going on. However, we probably wouldn't add that much anyway. We are a smack talking "handicap" region. No one here in our region is really very good at it...... we're so used to blowing away all other "talkers" that we don't bother with it any more! Besides, most members in our region have advanced their skills and learned how to turn left and right, so not too many drag racers remain around here!

Ok, I'll just wish you guys a good time now, and go back into hiding!

 

[PMUM]

NIIIIIIIIIIIICE!

What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall of that epic gathering....100 of Texas' finest tomato-cans converging for an evening of "serious" "burns". Maybe if I can grow a mullet and come up with some weak-as* takes in time I can sneak in and watch.

WAR 'THE TEXAS TOMATO CANS'!!!!!!!!!!!

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[brett]

If only us SoCal boys could find a way to harness all the brain power of that Texas (there's a) "**" Down...ummm...well...

.....we could lightly toast, or at best at least "warm" a bagel to go with our Starbucks.

Be sure to post pictures of the cow tippin' contest.

WAR UNARMED MULLET-HEADED SMACKERS!

 

[Kid97GTS]

This just in from my spies in the HMS sweat shop - pic of Mr. HMS himself banging out his latest Tejas blast on the shop's Tandy 386 CPU.

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Hmmm, a gathering of the Lone Star state's finest Viper owners - the fact that I am trapped in Cali is making me green with envy. I can just picture it now - renting out the local VFW hall for an evening of swapping car stories, hunting stories and braggin' about whose bass boat has the best fish finder radar; catering by Sonic burger and all the ice cold Dixie you can drink; a walk out to the parkin' lot to admire the brand new neon lit chrome running boards that Jim Bob slapped on his 2 wheel drive F150; and maybe, once everyone is good and liquored up, a drive over to ******* for some tasty wings and a chance to impress Billy Sue and her nearly full set of teeth with a pack of shiny Vipers! Oh, the horrah! I guess I'll have to settle for a day at the beach, or maybe a BBQ with PMUM and our lowly non-mulleted pals.

 

[Prashant]

Ok Jim Rome eeerrrr BP eeerrrrKid97, get something Fresher out than those takes. maybe you guys can get out of your basements this weekend into some sunlight and maybe even see real chicks instead pretending to be married to Pam Anderson on you computer screens.

Really guys why does this always end up as a CAL Vs. TX deal? Kid97 go to you local VCA meeting...and if you like what you see let us know about it. other than that go away. NO ONE knows who you are even out in Cal...I checked. so quit posting and get out of your moms basement and get some. thank YOU AND GOOD NIGHT NOW.

 

[BigsViper]

Prashant, It's just a jealousy thang! You should see what they try to pass for tacos there in Orange County. Plus it's the only place I've been that's more crowded than Houston. 25 Million fruits and nuts can't be wrong! They blast street racing only 'cause it's too crowded to do any. (although I understand PMUM built his own 0-195 track that anyone can race on for a $3.00 toll!)

 

[John N]

Let's try to be nice to our Kalifornia Snake owners Prashant. Remember, they are just a product of their environment. I think they're still a little sore over that recent self-inflicted power fiasco thing. Next thing you know they'll be griping about us paying $1.25 for gasoline here in Tejas while we cash all those power checks from CA.

We Texas villians will try to stay with y'all in smack talking, but I'm a little worried about being able to keep up. Anybody that is raised in a state where the words "responsibility for own actions" don't exist is bound to have an advantage on us in the smack-talking game. And Kid-97 is even posting pictures from work (or is that home?)!! I am seriously worried about all the pictures these guys are pulling out of their photo albums.....

Now let me see if I can find some Shiner to buy with all that money I didn't spend on state income tax......

 

[NascarDave]

Daniel,
Why don't you show Billy Sue the way to St. Louis?
Is that a 68 Vette? Nice mechanic.

This is great, I just wish I could attend.

Keep layin the smacketh down!

Dave

 

[brett]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BSchillinger:
We understand that California's public school system may have blurred the line between men and women. But here in Texas we certainly haven't forgotten the difference, and we're here to help you take those first tentative steps into the dating world.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Be careful KID, the first few lines of the Texas Dating Instructional Handbook read:

"First, find yourself some young unsuspecting sheep".

Hey Prashant...Do you really want to fire up the personal attacks? TX vs. SoCal is a lot safer from where you stand. The usual suspects will lay the wrath on you so bad you'll cringe everytime you hear a computer start up. Which I'm sure is the sound of a pig's squealing rendition of the Microsoft "diddy" on all Tejas computers.

HMS...nice photo! Is that the Texas Tongue wrestling semi's you made it to last year. Watch out...some of those northern left coasters have had a lot of practice at that! Albeit not with the distracting sound of a tractor pull going on in the background.

 

[PMUM]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Prashant:
Ok Jim Rome eeerrrr BP eeerrrrKid97, get something Fresher out than those takes.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm sure they appreciate the advice. Maybe they can learn something from epic SCUDS like:

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Prashant:
maybe you guys can get out of your basements this weekend into some sunlight and maybe even see real chicks instead pretending to be married to Pam Anderson on you computer screens.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And my new favorite "fresh" take:

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Prashant:
I feel so much time and space is wasted by people that don't own Vipers.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

They should call you Patriot Missile Prashant because you're the only guy who can ward off the SCUDS getting launched from SoCal. That ranks right up there with BShillinger's always fresh "you guys are ***" comments but unfortunately falls behind the ever so popular Serious Eric Goes Mental take.

WAR TEXAS!!!!!!!!

 

[Serious Eric]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PMUM:
That ranks right up there with BShillinger's always fresh "you guys are ***" comments but unfortunately falls behind the ever so popular Serious Eric Goes Mental take.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

BWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAH!!

I did go mental didn't I? It was a lot of fun actually ... but I've sworn it off.

PUMPie you're starting to become a bit more amusing than I at first thought (seriously as always). It's a sick sorta fascination - can't really explain it. Kinda like if a piano fell on you we'd all leap up and down and get drunk and then when it wore off we'd go back to the board and ... it'd just be dull as h*ll.

Or maybe that's not it at all. Maybe ... yeah, I got it!! Y'all are like digging for ear-wax! A bad habit, that shouldn't be indulged in public, but MAANNNNN it feels sooo good to root around in there once in a while.

 

[Kid97GTS]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Eric Schieve:
BWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAH!!

I did go mental didn't I? It was a lot of fun actually ... but I've sworn it off.

PUMPie you're starting to become a bit more amusing than I at first thought (seriously as always). It's a sick sorta fascination - can't really explain it. Kinda like if a piano fell on you we'd all leap up and down and get drunk and then when it wore off we'd go back to the board and ... it'd just be dull as h*ll.

Or maybe that's not it at all. Maybe ... yeah, I got it!! Y'all are like digging for ear-wax! A bad habit, that shouldn't be indulged in public, but MAANNNNN it feels sooo good to root around in there once in a while.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Uh, what? I think I know what happens when you cross IEAT with a high school education and Webster's unabridged dictionary - you get Serious Eric. Come on, Serious, I missed your epic meltdown that required a mea culpa the next day - I really want to see you take it to the next level and bang on the keyboard while you retort with your witty Texas takes. I know you have it in you, just let the pain of losing the war of Northern Aggression show through.

Prashant, et. al. - Wow, I'm really disappointed that I'm not on the member list kept by all your imaginary Cali buddies. Sorry, but Driving School and I don't have monthly meetings to compare orange cone stories, and I tried, but the DMV wouldn't let me pull the "Kid97GTS" vanity plate, or any clever "Asp" iteration (I guess our NoCal buddies took all the good ones), so I guess I'll have to be the nameless guy that tags along with PMUM and Brett to all the SoCal VCA events. Heck, for y'all know I might not even be a Viper owner (the Horrah!). Wouldn't that just be awful if the guy who lays the proverbial wood to you every time you pop up with a lame take not only wasn't a VCA member, but didn't even own an American car! Oh well, at least you were clever enough to give me some great dating tips, however irrelevant they may be (sorry, but the bovine population is somewhat more restricted here than your homeland). Anyway, looking forward to y'all's next blast - maybe it will have some more original material, like "You guys ****, just like Jim Rome," or maybe "Yeah, well, you guys are slow, and you can't get chicks like us." Yeah!!!!

Rack me, y'all.

 

[BigsViper]

RACK 'EM, KURTZ!!! Where the H**k is Beldar when you need him to jump in and defend the cali boys and beg forgiveness for their "immaturity"?! Without this smackin' the board would be "The Heart of Darkness!"

 

[BigsViper]

CALLING NORM KOERNER! CALLING NORM KOERNER! (or is it Norm Korner? Oh no, can't be... no Korners in the straight-line.) I'd better be niiiiice to my Texas Bretheren so I don't get lynched if I decide to show up this weekend!

 

[rschiltz]

Where is this event going to be held at? Is it open to other makes? I don't have a Viper but maybe I could keep Darth Vetter's Z06 some company?

 

[Jason-Middle Tennessee]

Here's a picture of Prashant and Hennessey back a few years ago. It's a wonder the doctor's could safe them....

Picture Here
Ok photo point *****. Sorry guys/gals

 

[dmora]

Hey Kid, I'll tell Billy Sue you arent comming... Actually her name is Julietta.

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[PMUM]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by John Hennessey / HMS:

This saturday's event could become the STI.1 - SMACK TALKERS INVITATIONAL 1. Toss in the assorted charachters and adult beverages and it will be interesting for sure.

I can tell you another thing, when this group of Texans invades Detroit next summer for the VOI.7, everybody is gonna wish that they were from TEXAS!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Wish they were from Texas???? I'm sure if some of those guys had "hottie" sisters then they'd wish they were from Texas. But when a Moderator of all people would rather quit his job than move to that God forsaken hell hole because Kansas City is a better place to live, you know you ****.

Why don't you guys stick to what you know--drag racin'. Don't worry, we know better than to host the "Floorin' It National Invitational" here without mixing in some of Texas' finest drivers......errrrrrr right feet.

If you try to be more like SoCal somebody is bound to get hurt. I can see it now...some liquored up fat Texan is gonna pissed after B.Shillinger uses a word he doesn't understand while administering one of his weak "takes".

You must be registered for see images

Then it'll break down into a "your momma is so fat....." argument followed by insults of the fisticuff variety. Maybe it won't be so bad afterall! Now where can I find a mullet wig?

WAR POSEURS!!!!!

 

[Kid97GTS]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PMUM:
Wish they were from Texas???? I'm sure if some of those guys had "hottie" sisters then they'd wish they were from Texas. But when a Moderator of all people would rather quit his job than move to that God forsaken hell hole because Kansas City is a better place to live, you know you ****.

Why don't you guys stick to what you know--drag racin'. Don't worry, we know better than to host the "Floorin' It National Invitational" here without mixing in some of Texas' finest drivers......errrrrrr right feet.

If you try to be more like SoCal somebody is bound to get hurt. I can see it now...some liquored up fat Texan is gonna pissed after B.Shillinger uses a word he doesn't understand while administering one of his weak "takes".

You must be registered for see images

Then it'll break down into a "your momma is so fat....." argument followed by insults of the fisticuff variety. Maybe it won't be so bad afterall! Now where can I find a mullet wig?

WAR POSEURS!!!!!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

PMUM, you have nothing to fear from the Texan you caught on film - he is just so amped to have finally received that Atari 2600 he'd been lusting after for the past 15 years that he can't contain himself.

Now, the two Lynrd Skynrd groupies below caught on film at the last "Tejas RV Show and Viper ** Down" are the ones you have to watch for. Riling them up would be like blocking the t.v. at ViperCrazy's house during the Matlock/Mayberry RFD super hour - it's a scene us California dudes want no part of, pardner.

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[Jason-Middle Tennessee]

Dmora you better watch Jeff. He'll get you in a ton of trouble....

 

[Dave Golder]

Okay Girls, I just got back from the open road race in Elko Nevada. We set a new course record with a 181 MPH average on 100 miles of twisty road! Good fun. I will be at this convention dishing out loads of crap to those who will be willing to listen and most of you who won't. That's one good thing about being 6'4" and 240lbs. Anyone bigger... well I will just listen.

 

[dmora]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dave 96 R/T:
Daniel,
Why don't you show Billy Sue the way to St. Louis?
Is that a 68 Vette? Nice mechanic.

This is great, I just wish I could attend.

Keep layin the smacketh down!

Dave
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That is a 60 something vette, dont remember the model year. If your ever in Austin TX, gimmie a buzz, and you, me, and Jeff Ellison can go visit her at her "work."

 

[Jason-Middle Tennessee]

Here's a picture of Hennessey and Prashant a few years back....

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[SoCal Rebell]

Some old PMUM banter I wanted to bump up from the "old" days when we could do this.

 

[SoCal Rebell]

Some vintage PMUM to keep his memory alive.

 

[Vic]

PMUM backed it up at the track! Long live the legend.

"gas, gas, gas!"

 

[SoCal Rebell]

Bump

 

[Dave Golder]

For sure worth a bump! PMUM was a shoe! Godspeed. I for sure miss the old Houston VCA days. I am back in Houston but it is just not the same! Hidecker aka HI Dollar is around, CAPS KOERNER is around, Money Boy is around but no sign of Fat Elvis, my cell mates ****, Albert and Fontenot, and even Prashant has vanished. Sad Days!