With all due respect, I think you may be a little washed up.
1. Most of these cars will show up with at least 7 miles on the odometer from the factory (each is run on a chassis dyno - not to test power, but to test the entire drivetrain). So unless your touchless car wash is right next the factory, it should have well over 5 miles.
2. How does it fit on the tracks of a touchless car wash? The vast majority CANNOT fit the rear tires on the track because they are too wide and the roller won't catch to move the car through the wash. Those few owners that try it are generally turned away by the car wash operators.
3. I would suggest that while the SRT can indeed let in some water on the sides when hit with high pressure, it is rarely more than a trickle. You make it sound like it is on both sides, which would make it an anomaly times two.
4. As to the body lines, I saw fifty (50) 2005 Vipers side-by-side as they were being delivered. While there were certainly a couple that might have has a slight variation on the gaps (generally with the trunk), the lines were virtually identical around each and every car. Your description sounds way off.
5. Unless you are in Canada, $95,000 is simply too high to be believable. The cars are generally sold around sticker price, which is always under $90K.
6. You mentioned that your car lines look like hell compared to the other Vipers at a local car show.
... A. There are rarely multiple Vipers at local car shows unless it is an organized Viper event.
... B. If there were indeed other Vipers at this car show, some were undoubtedly Gen I and/or Gen II. With all the deepest respect to the Gen I & II guys, the lines (gaps, not design) on the SRT are almost always better. The clamshell hood is difficult to align perfectly and the SRT is not.
Bottom line: The chances of you having multiple Vipers in a local show with a NEW SRT having the worst body lines (gaps, not design) is slim. To have it with only 5 miles is slimmer. To have it leak gallons of water in a car wash where it generally doesn't fit is even more slim. To have it cost $95K is, well, pretty darn slim indeed.
I hope I am wrong on all counts and that you really do own said Viper and get it checked out by the dealer. Good luck.
