BREAKING NEWS.... THIS JUST IN...
Good evening folks, this is Tom Brokaw. There has been a terrorist car bombing in Fort Worth. The bomb came in the form of a Dodge Viper of the SRT persuasion. The FBI crime lab has stated that the IED was built out of canisters filled with Nitrous Ox. and loaded into the back of the Viper. Other evidence found at the bomb scene were bits of a short shifter and remnants of PS2's. The bomber has been identified as Sheik Al-mal-al-fa-la-la-la-la-la...la-la-la-la- al akbar Pattymelt. Pattymelt, known for building things in his garage that he could not fully grip, was found dead at the scene with a gruesome grin on his face. Probably the last thing to go through his mind (before the trunk latch, that is) was his vision of 40 virgins waiting for him. No one was hurt and no damage reported with the exception of said Viper. In other news, Hillary Clinton committed suicide in Jim Jones fashion along with John Kerry, Bill, the entire democrat dominated congress, ACLU, FEMA, IRS, (add your own here)
