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DAMN YANKEE
Guest
Lets hear them, some more controversial than others, but all helpful. Please add them as you think of them. Man do I wish I had a list like this when I got my Viper.
SHOP/DEALERSHIP SERVICES – We ask how much things are going to cost and what we can expect to have done for that price. Don’t complain if you get a huge bill and never bothered to ask the price. Don’t complain if you get a huge bill and did ask for the price and they did all the work at that price. Mechanics respect people who say “What are you going to do and what will it cost me?”..they love people who don’t..but not in a way you would like.
OPERATING TEMPERATURE – Know what it is and wait for it before getting your goofey foot gets going.
WIDEBAND SENSORS – Must be completely at temperature before you start your engine. Most Wideband kits come with a diode light..install it and wait for it to go “full on” before starting your engine. Your widebands will last a lot longer.
WHEEL STANDS – With your jack in place and locked-out..a jack in front and rear if possible…and blocks under all four (4) wheels…and then worry.
HOCKEY PUCK TIRES – Are fun for burn outs and figure eights. They will kill you for road racing. Change your tires when they turn hard no matter how much it costs. If you can’t afford tires, you should be driving a vette.
UNDERCARRIAGE – Get under your Viper once a year and look up.
ROE SUPERCHARGERS – Have their oil changed regularly as defined in your manual. They are not sealed units.
PARKING ATTENDANTS – Don’t get to drive your car or hold you keys.
CAR WASH ATTENDANTS – Don’t get to drive your car or hold your keys.
NEIGHBORHOOD DRIVING – Don’t crap in your own nest. Drive slowly and quietly in your own neighborhood.
OIL FILTERS – Quality matters and don’t use old oil to lube a new seal prior to screwing one down.
WHEEL LUG NUTS – Tighten them with a torque wrench and check them routinely, especially if you are having fun. Definitely loosen and retighten them completely once a year (oxidation to your wheels!)
BRAKE FLUID – Gets changed every three (3) years without fail.
GAS STATION SQUEEGIES – Never…as in at no time.
DOOR HINGES – When they sag..and they will…fix them or have them fixed a.s.a.p.
HATCH GAS SHOCKS – They are cheap, super simple to replace and cool to watch as they pop open a GTS hatch…why are you waiting?
SPARK PLUG REMOVAL – Only when the motor is stone cold and with the right tools. Tator says stock plugs are the way to go and use no lube..Champion says use no lube…but the debate goes on. Fire breathing engines will need different plugs in different temperature ranges…stock and close to stock engines don’t. Removing the air plenum (passenger side) is easy. Some say Titanium tips break off and cause big damage. Want to do something special for your Viper? Check your plugs and make note and act on fouling.
GAS STABILZERS – Work. Store your car with it properly mixed in your tank and let your engine run long enough to get the fuel/stabilizer mixture throughout your fuel system. Adding it to your tank and not getting it in your fuel system before you store…is worthless.
YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER – Gets to drive your Viper because you are taking the time to explain to them how to drive your car…and work with them on your car. If you don’t, they will either drive your car and get into trouble…or not drive your car and you will have missed one of the great bonding experiences possible and they will hold that against you forever.
SPEED WAX – Does a super job on a super clean car. Provides a one way ticket to a buff out on a lightly dusty car…and is a disaster on a dirty car.
CALIFORNIA DUSTERS – Are good for very light dust offs. They do last a long time but no matter what the factory says when you wouldn’t wipe your duster across your own clean shirt..it’s time for a new one.
VETTES –They are lower than a normal car so they are difficult to see, you will find them in your rear view mirror. Wave if you want, they appreciate that and makes them feel like they too have a performance car too.
WHEEL HOP AT TAKE OFF – Press in your clutch and give your drive train a break.
OCTANE ADDITIVES – IF used tank after tank after tank can create some problems depending on the brand. Use them when you really need to.
********* – A Viper speeding in the far left lane. Stay to the right whenever possible.
I am astounded at the number of speed traps that I have passed at speed because they targeted the far left lane.
FOREIGN VIPER OWNERS – Get extra attention and support. Be generous with anyone living overseas and driving an American Viper. Offer to help them get products and clear customs on shipments. They represent us in lands where people still think that BMWs, Porches and Ferrari’s are competitive. Besides, they are far less confused than Americans driving the aforementioned vehicles over here.
DRIP MATS - Hide everything..Vipers should not drip. Clean floors allow you to identify what and where drips are coming from.
TATOR – Is not a Viper God, he is a man like you and me, he is an extremely talented and caring Viper expert, nothing more…Rob is a Viper God and you should be leaving offerings and making sacrifices.....or suffer the consequences.
SHOP/DEALERSHIP SERVICES – We ask how much things are going to cost and what we can expect to have done for that price. Don’t complain if you get a huge bill and never bothered to ask the price. Don’t complain if you get a huge bill and did ask for the price and they did all the work at that price. Mechanics respect people who say “What are you going to do and what will it cost me?”..they love people who don’t..but not in a way you would like.
OPERATING TEMPERATURE – Know what it is and wait for it before getting your goofey foot gets going.
WIDEBAND SENSORS – Must be completely at temperature before you start your engine. Most Wideband kits come with a diode light..install it and wait for it to go “full on” before starting your engine. Your widebands will last a lot longer.
WHEEL STANDS – With your jack in place and locked-out..a jack in front and rear if possible…and blocks under all four (4) wheels…and then worry.
HOCKEY PUCK TIRES – Are fun for burn outs and figure eights. They will kill you for road racing. Change your tires when they turn hard no matter how much it costs. If you can’t afford tires, you should be driving a vette.
UNDERCARRIAGE – Get under your Viper once a year and look up.
ROE SUPERCHARGERS – Have their oil changed regularly as defined in your manual. They are not sealed units.
PARKING ATTENDANTS – Don’t get to drive your car or hold you keys.
CAR WASH ATTENDANTS – Don’t get to drive your car or hold your keys.
NEIGHBORHOOD DRIVING – Don’t crap in your own nest. Drive slowly and quietly in your own neighborhood.
OIL FILTERS – Quality matters and don’t use old oil to lube a new seal prior to screwing one down.
WHEEL LUG NUTS – Tighten them with a torque wrench and check them routinely, especially if you are having fun. Definitely loosen and retighten them completely once a year (oxidation to your wheels!)
BRAKE FLUID – Gets changed every three (3) years without fail.
GAS STATION SQUEEGIES – Never…as in at no time.
DOOR HINGES – When they sag..and they will…fix them or have them fixed a.s.a.p.
HATCH GAS SHOCKS – They are cheap, super simple to replace and cool to watch as they pop open a GTS hatch…why are you waiting?
SPARK PLUG REMOVAL – Only when the motor is stone cold and with the right tools. Tator says stock plugs are the way to go and use no lube..Champion says use no lube…but the debate goes on. Fire breathing engines will need different plugs in different temperature ranges…stock and close to stock engines don’t. Removing the air plenum (passenger side) is easy. Some say Titanium tips break off and cause big damage. Want to do something special for your Viper? Check your plugs and make note and act on fouling.
GAS STABILZERS – Work. Store your car with it properly mixed in your tank and let your engine run long enough to get the fuel/stabilizer mixture throughout your fuel system. Adding it to your tank and not getting it in your fuel system before you store…is worthless.
YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER – Gets to drive your Viper because you are taking the time to explain to them how to drive your car…and work with them on your car. If you don’t, they will either drive your car and get into trouble…or not drive your car and you will have missed one of the great bonding experiences possible and they will hold that against you forever.
SPEED WAX – Does a super job on a super clean car. Provides a one way ticket to a buff out on a lightly dusty car…and is a disaster on a dirty car.
CALIFORNIA DUSTERS – Are good for very light dust offs. They do last a long time but no matter what the factory says when you wouldn’t wipe your duster across your own clean shirt..it’s time for a new one.
VETTES –They are lower than a normal car so they are difficult to see, you will find them in your rear view mirror. Wave if you want, they appreciate that and makes them feel like they too have a performance car too.
WHEEL HOP AT TAKE OFF – Press in your clutch and give your drive train a break.
OCTANE ADDITIVES – IF used tank after tank after tank can create some problems depending on the brand. Use them when you really need to.
********* – A Viper speeding in the far left lane. Stay to the right whenever possible.
I am astounded at the number of speed traps that I have passed at speed because they targeted the far left lane.
FOREIGN VIPER OWNERS – Get extra attention and support. Be generous with anyone living overseas and driving an American Viper. Offer to help them get products and clear customs on shipments. They represent us in lands where people still think that BMWs, Porches and Ferrari’s are competitive. Besides, they are far less confused than Americans driving the aforementioned vehicles over here.
DRIP MATS - Hide everything..Vipers should not drip. Clean floors allow you to identify what and where drips are coming from.
TATOR – Is not a Viper God, he is a man like you and me, he is an extremely talented and caring Viper expert, nothing more…Rob is a Viper God and you should be leaving offerings and making sacrifices.....or suffer the consequences.
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