Viper Days at Buttonwillow?

[Bill/APEX Motorsports]

Who's going to attend Viper Days at Buttonwillow on 3/24-25? I'll be there and would like to meet a few more of you SoCal guys who likely didn't want to drive all the way up to Thunderhill last weekend!

 

[Frank Parise]

The Desert Venom Race Team will be there including Phil De La O, Fat Albert, Ritch Marziale (in his Le Mans GTS-R), and myself. I believe there will be 10 Vipers in the wheel to wheel race group including the 4 of us.

 

[David Jenkins]

Tell Adelberg he's sleepin' in the tent!dj

 

[Frank Parise]

Spoke with Skip Thomas last night. It appears that we have 11 Vipers, 2 Porsches, and 4 Panoz GT cars for the wheel to wheel race. That would make 17 cars on the starting grid, which would be the highest ever for a western region VD event. Should be way fun! The Vipers are: Woodhouse, Foster, Downs, Fat Albert (GTS-R), Marziale(GTS-R), myself, Thomas, H. Frank, Weigel, Crotty, De La O. It is fortunate that other marques are included until we have enough racers from the west to make our starting grid exclusively Vipers.

 

[K Adelberg]

Jenkins don't start with me! I think the Mumford's RV has some storage underneath, bring a sleeping bag and some cushins, no not your girlfriend. Only drivers get the plush RV lifestyle

 

[David Jenkins]

Che'-Mumford ala mobil. Don't you mean drivers and mechanics? That's why you're sleeping in a tent! You're buying the beer Adelberg.dj

 

[Jon 98GTS]

Ya know, from here in the south bay, Thunderhill is 180 miles away; Buttonwillow is 210 miles. Hopefully, a decent-sized contigent of bay area Vipers will be willing to drive the extra 30 miles...

Somebody needs to start talking some smack to make sure that Bontempi, Horzewski, Pearson, Donaldson, Heaton, Omen et al show up. I'll definitely be there so Mumford can finally figure out who I am.

Just to stir things up, I'll ask Ken a question: If "only drivers get the plush RV lifestyle," does that mean that Bruce is ahead of you in line to get into the Alpine Coach? After all, he told me he was 10mph faster than you through Turn 1 at Willow Springs...

 

[Supercharged Vipermad]

NorCal weenies know better than come South of the Border. I believe the Mason/Dixon California line is in Los Banos. Maybe we can trick you guys into coming by telling everyone up there that Buttonwillow is big parking lot. Tell them I'm bringing plenty-o-cones and they'll come in droves!

WAR AUTOCROSS WEENIES!!!!!!!!!

 

[K Adelberg]

Well, Jon 98... You sure seem to talk for your N. Cal group often. I guess Bruce better bring his A game. His lap time at Thunderhill was a bit slower then the 2:01 range he claims. Just found out my car was running on 9 cylinders and a clogged fuel injector. I never whined or cried one hand behind my back, no excuses, just felt I had a bad weekend.

WAR BRUCE DONALDSON!!!!!
Jon 98, shove it!

 

[Mark Young]

Not to stir the ***, but where were you so-cal guys for Thunderhill? I met Ken there last year and was looking forward to some in-person Mumfelberg smack talkin this year and neither one of you showed up!

I must say you guys missed a good time, Pemberton lost his pants before we even hit the track the first day! (sorry Bill!)

Cheers

- Mark ('99 ACR)

 

[David Jenkins]

Jon, get the south bay group to drive the 30 miles. Step up or step out! I'll bet you Kenny and Paul will be dialed in. No smack on Bontempi from me, but I think we can set some cones up over on the skid pad at Button for the norcal guys. I think you should try constuction zone pylon carving. At least you can go faster than 15 mph. I think there is road work going on at the 5 south for you guys. You shouldn't try laying smack towards Adelberg, that's Mumford's job!dj

 

[Supercharged Vipermad]

Listen here Jon '98 GTS, the only guy from NorCal who showed up with a Viper was that tree hugging hippie, Jon Scott. I think we need more clues so we can decipher your identity. Why don't you log in as Jon '98 GTS, with a dog named lucky, who lives between the Williams' and Smiths in San Jose, CA?

As for Jenkins' RV smack...I always have vacancy on the 'A' couch for anyone willing to change tires, pads, bleed brakes etc. The only time it is uncomfortable is when Pemberton makes his semi-daily "deposit" in the RV restroom. Since Adelberg is my ***** I have the sole rights to allow others to diss him. I have given Jenkins authorization to pick on 'lil Kenny. Bruce Donaldson has earned the right to take a supporting role in dissing Adelberg, but I will not tolerate anymore unauthorized Adelberg dissings. While I can appreciate the fact that he brings it upon himself by whining and then patting himself on the back for not whining, this is behavior that Bruce and I will have to reprimand ourselves. Sorta like you spanking your nephew; it's not really your job.

As for why we missed Thunderhill...the weather channel predicted 3 straight days of massive rain and we weren't about to drive 24 hours roundtrip to get rained out. Instead we opted to go race door-to-door at Willow and get a "minor tune-up" by a Chevy truck.

I'm not sure what configuration we are running, but rest assured--if it's too challenging I'm sure Skip can setup some cones in the pits to make you feel at home.

 

[Mark Young]

Well if there's gonna be cones I may make the trip

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I'm just a newbie but I'd like to meet the rest of you so-cal guys, and it looks like the wheel 2 wheel race is gonna be good.

- Mark ('99 ACR)

 

[David Jenkins]

Did Pemberton loose his pants or loose it in his pants? I have earned smack status by association thank you. dj

 

[Jon 98GTS]

OK, Paul, I'll leave 'lil Kenny alone for now -- I'll let Bruce uphold the Norcal honor and diss Adelberg. I just wish that Bruce would talk as much trash on this board as he did at Thunderhill. I mean, where is he? Does he only spout off when Mumfelberg isn't around?!?

Cones, Pemberton's pants, Stanford hoops on the TV in the motorhome: I say do whatever it takes to get the norcal people down there! (If Chris Omen doesn't show up, he deserves a major-league tongue-lashing for turning his new ACR into a garage-queen.)

Sorry, I can't give you more clues to "decipher my identity" but I'm uncomfortable with certain people being able to find me. You see, I talked with that Jon Scott guy -- as soon as Adelberg found out where he lived, Ken showed up at his door and took his truck for a week! (At least Ken had the decency to prefer Dodge trucks over Chevy's...)

 

[K Adelberg]

Well, now... I have the exclusive rights to my dissing club! Somehow Mumford weaseled his way to club president. He busts out a few fast laps and oh my god a new king. What the F---? Well, OK at least he is not running cones at some drivers education class. Jenkins thinks since he changed Mumford's oil that gives him rights to my club and the RV, guess I will stick with Dan Cragen. As for the unknown Jon 98 GTS, well he is from N. Cal. that explains it all. Bruce, hope you liked your podium spot. Don't expect to get on there again in S. Cal!

Thunderhill would have been a blast, but my car was coughing smoke and she is afraid of rain.

 

[David Jenkins]

That's about all I know how to do is change oil Kenny! I guess I'm just a dumb ole hillbilly from Ahiya! Maybe some day I'll figure out how to work on cars. Hey Kenny, let's see who can spit the farthest for RV rights. Hell yeh! Lot's of love to you Kenny!dj

 

[Jon 98GTS]

Just a couple of observations/comments:

1) Mumford needs to look at a map -- Laguna Seca is south of Los Banos and norcal people DO travel there. He's a little confused about his CA Mason-Dixon line...

2) Only Adelberg would have the gall to tell us his car was slow because of 9 cylinders and clogged injectors, THEN say that he doesn't whine or make excuses AND he actually expects us to believe him!

3) Jenkins says that Adelberg-smack is Paul's job... but he's the one who said Ken is sleeping in the tent and buying the beer. As usual, whenever there is work for Mumford to do (changing tires, bleeding brakes, dissing Ken, etc), it is Jenkins who is the one who does it.

btw, does anyone know what configuration we are going to run at Buttonwillow?

 

[Bill Pemberton Woodhouse]

Dear Mr. Moodoozoolooski,
Yep, while at a typical Viper Days Party, I had the overly large trouz I was wearing hanked down to my ankles. I was on the phone to a prospective customer , so of course I just stood there, finished my conversation , and asked the waitress for another glass of Cabernet - it was a 97 Kendall Jackson in case you wanted to know. The Police were called as it was noticed that someone had stolen my *** - in other words while you were plumping up over the hard , cold winter, I was taking some weight out of my car the easy way. Since I now have no *** , how are you going to catch it? I am looking forward to seeing if you can get beyond mid-pack at Mid -Ohio and hopefully by then you can purchase a telescope, as that is the only way you will be able to see my asp, as we will be so far ahead of you. Go play Boy Scout now , as I will be running Prepared, so Be Prepared to plant your fat asp into your SlowSnake ,as you will soon be the butt of these jokes.
Kiknasp and takin names,
War of the 98 Red GTS's
Sincerely Yours,
Vilhelm Von Viperton

 

[Supercharged Vipermad]

Bad swoop day? That's good stuff! Alan, why are you wasting your time with the East Coast guys? We'll make you an honorary West Coast guy.

 

[Bill Pemberton Woodhouse]

SWOOP, DERR IT IZ,SWOOP, DERR IT IZ!!!!
Heh, MooZoo, I just realized that we both have 98 GTS's , they are both Red, and we both are "GETTING BALD! " Maybe we should just sweat it out to see who does best. No pain and no Rogaine!

 

[brett]

Jenkins you'll be sharing a fold-out with Adelberg in Mumford's Casa de Mobil. It'll be just like home with the cousins....just try to "keep it down". I've got my "can't get bumped card" from Mumford and I'll be using it this trip. I won't stay the whole weekend, I just want to watch the *** -whoopin' on Saturday and I'm outta there! Don't feel bad, I'm sure you can trick Ken into the same sleeping arrangements for Night Deux, how tough could that be?

 

[David Jenkins]

Mr. Bret, unfortunatly for you I checked our records, it seems you in fact have the "don't get bumped unless the 'ole fat boy mechanic is comin'" policy. This DOES entitle you to unlimited day use but does not cover you at night due to policy adjustments administerd for this event. As for Mr. Adelberg, I can't reveal the details of his plan, but I can say that the plan administrator advised me that Mr. Adelberg will only be visiting during the day light hours. dj

 

[K Adelberg]

Brett you should get the boot since you no longer have a Viper. Sorry no cool click for you. Your little Acura Type R wind up just won't cut it. Keep it on the street!

WAR Viper wanna be's

 

[K Adelberg]

I have a copy of my lease Mr. Mumford. Although you wrote it in crayons and drew in a few stick figures, and I know that was a challenge for you, but it does say I am your little sweetheart and you will take tare of me for better or for worse. Why you treat me so bad. What have you done for me lately.

Jenkins, you are such a "groupy". See, Cragen earns his keep. While you druel and slobber over Mumford and convince him you know what you are doing, Cragen is busting his *** to help all of those Viper Pinoches who don't know what a brake pad is.(relax that was me last year) You should put up a tent that reads, "Brown nose kiss *** paddock".

GO FREELOADERS

 

[brett]

Ken, try to stay focused here.


1. Paul had that document drawn-up by a third grader with the hopes you would understand it.

2. I gave you some sound advice two years ago about your next modification, "spell check". We need another translation option at the bottom of the page...English to Spanish is nothing compared to Adelberg to English. At least have the common courtesy to spell Dan's last name correctly. For God's sake he's the only guy trying to help you. Here's a hint: It's on all of his posts.

3. One last thing, if any of your paparazzi (those are the people that take pictures) are looking for you at Motel 6 rumor has it you no longer have the "chicken trailer". You've stepped up to an enclosed trailer. Air conditioning and all......they may want to know that.

 

[K Adelberg]

OK Brett you are correct! My spelling is horrible, but I can't blame that for the way I spelled Cragin. Ooopss. But see, Dan is the man and a real asset to the Viper community. What have you done but sold out for a Type R. That is low and you should be kicked off this site. All Mumford's "wantabees" should automatically get kicked out!

Go back to work all of you! Leave me and my (female dog) alone

 

[brett]

Work? Like you would know what that is! If I lived the "Adelberg Gravy Train" I may have kept the Viper, hit the **** and chased Mumford to no end also. I (like most people) had to chose a different path. But I'll be around to watch you get the little girl beatin' you got coming. See ya Saturday!

 

[K Adelberg]

While you lost Viper "smoking bongs", I've kept my mind and my car. The little girl beating will be yours by Mumford in the S2000. Wind up that toy of yours and I'll see ya this weekend

 

[brett]

Can anybody translate that for me? Mumford can you help me with this one?...it's like being around somebody else's kid. The parents undertand the babble, but you stand there with a polite smile thinking what the hell was that?